20 Quotes to Nurture Confidence and Self-Belief
What does confidence and self-belief mean to you?
Confidence may feel like a distant goal, something that's just out of reach - or what others have but just not you. If you feel like this, please know that I hear you, and that there are things you can do to increase your confidence and self belief.
What is Self Belief / Confidence?
It can be hard to truly define belief and confidence as it's such a personal thing, but in essence it's having that inner trust that you can do what you put your mind to, and you will be able to successfully navigate any challenges that may come your way.
When you're confident it doesn't mean you're without challenges in life, but you are okay with who are, you accept yourself - regardless of any perceived flaws or 'weaknesses' / gaps in understanding.
When you're confident, you approach things with the knowledge that you've got this, which leaves you open to taking more risks, challenging yourself by pushing outside of your comfort zone, experiencing different things and being able to embrace the unknown without fear.
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But What Does it Feel Like?
When you have that inner stability that comes with self acceptance and inner confidence, it can feel easier to manage day to day life, manage emotions and potentially be less reactive to difficult situations.
Example:
Think about a time you felt confident with a task or project that you were starting / working on. Consider how your energy was, how creative and excited you felt about what you were doing. Close your eyes and remember that confidence you felt when making decisions, and how procrastination was very rarely an issue. The project, your responsibilities and life in general felt more manageable, exciting and motivating.
Now think about a time you were working on something and you didn't feel confident at all. How did you approach the tasks that you had to work on? Were you enthusiastic about them or did you feel a bit of dread when thinking about needing to get on with them? Were you decisive or did you struggle to make quick, important or even smaller decisions? Did you find yourself putting off what you were meant to be doing? Did it feel as easy as the other experience you just remembered?
My guess is there were differences in the both experiences, which not only impacted your work, but your mindset and possibly your confidence.
This activity is great for highlighting the difference in how our minds, beliefs and inner confidence can influence our emotions and behaviours.
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How Can I Improve My Confidence?
Confidence is (thankfully) something that can be learned. It will take time though, time to begin to trust yourself, challenge any lingering self-doubt and negative thinking. Here are a few ways you can begin to improve your confidence.
Self-Awareness
Self Awareness is the best place to begin. Beginning to understand yourself, your values and your strengths will help you recognise and focus more on what you are already capable of, and accept yourself for who you are.
Challenge Yourself.
Once you are aware of your strengths, capabilities and achievements, you can begin to introduce small challenges to gradually push yourself outside of your comfort zone. These can be teeny-tiny steps that are repeated to enable you to feel more comfortable before pushing yourself again.
Challenge Your Inner Critic.
These thoughts won't simply disappear overnight. They will have been with your for years - possibly decades! Two activities that I work on with my therapy clients are thought reframing and challenging thoughts.
Thought Reframing: This can be an extremely powerful exercise, and something that can be repeated consistently over time. In sessions, we examine current thought patterns, such as "Things never work out for me." This type of universal thinking is common when facing difficulties. I encourage clients to reframe the thought to something like "This particular situation hasn't worked out, but I have learned abc from this experience..." This creates space for both acknowledging disappointment and recognizing growth.
Thought Challenging: Thought challenging expands thought reframing even further. Many people treat their thoughts as indisputable facts. For example, if you didn't get a job, you might automatically think, "I'm not good enough, I never have any luck." This type of thought is what needs challenging. Ask yourself, "Where's the evidence that this is factually correct?"
Make it your mission to find evidence that contradicts this thought and others like it and proves them wrong. Notice your strengths and accomplishments, and all of those other times when things have worked out, and don't forget to also think about the qualities others appreciate in you.
Some of these thoughts happen mid conversations, for example you say something that you then think makes you sound silly you may silently repremind yourself or tell yourself "Ugh, I'm an idiot". Whatever the thought, whether it's you calling yourself a name, or thinking negatively about yourself, learning to challenge it as you notice it pop into your mind is how those thought patterns can change.
It can feel pretty weird or uncomfortable at first. However, by consistently challenging negative thoughts as soon as they arise, these new thought patterns gradually become automatic, replacing the negative loops that have kept you trapped in a cycle of low self-belief. With practice, you'll develop a more balanced perspective that acknowledges both challenges and your capacity to meet them.
Compassion
Self-compassion is when you are able to show yourself grace for not knowing everything, or not always getting thins "right'. If you're new to something, it's about not judging yourself by the same standards as someone who's been doing the same for a much longer period of time.
Accepting yourself for your wonderful and unique self, not aiming for perfection (it's impossible!), and allowing yourself to be you are all ways in which you can foster and grow your self-belief and confidence.
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Take a look at these quotes that acknowledge both the challenges and possibilities that come with personal growth and creating a stronger sense of self where you feel more confident and content in your own skin.
Embracing Your Authentic Self
"The question isn't who's going to let me; it's who's going to stop me." — Ayn Rand
"Because one believes in oneself, one doesn't try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn't need others' approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her." — Lao Tzu
"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us." — Ralph Waldo Emerson
"You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection." — Buddha
Managing Doubt and Uncertainty
"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt." — William Shakespeare
"Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will." — Suzy Kassem
"You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, how you can still come out of it." — Maya Angelou
"When I dare to be powerful, to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid." — Audre Lorde
Building Resilience Through Action
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, 'I will try again tomorrow.'" — Mary Anne Radmacher
"Don't waste your energy trying to change opinions. Do your thing, and don't care if they like it." — Tina Fey
"It is confidence in our bodies, minds, and spirits that allows us to keep looking for new adventures." — Oprah Winfrey
"If you hear a voice within you say 'you cannot paint,' then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced." — Vincent Van Gogh
Growth Through Challenge
"Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage." — Anaïs Nin
"I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it." — Maya Angelou
"You have been criticizing yourself for years, and it hasn't worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens." — Louise Hay
"The way to develop self-confidence is to do the thing you fear and get a record of successful experiences behind you." — William Jennings Bryan
Finding Your Voice
"The greatest thing in the world is to know how to belong to oneself." — Michel de Montaigne
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." — Eleanor Roosevelt
"When you're different, sometimes you don't see the millions of people who accept you for what you are. All you notice is the person who doesn't." — Jodi Picoult
"To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance." — Oscar Wilde
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I'd love to know which ones resonate with you the most - leave a comment below